#sometimes nothing happens for a reason
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Something something perhaps the reason Curly lacks a truly undamaged ID where his face is visible is to represent how much damage Jimmy had already affected on him throughout their relationship and the way Curly obscured part of who he is and what he stood to unintentionally cater to this toxic influence in his life.
#I think there is something to say that most people draw post crash curly and may not have every drawn him pre crash#and I think it says something that we only really look at the characters substantially in relation to Jimmy and not their own merits#unless we are discussing how J I M M Y mischarcterizes them cause in this#since we don’t assign a face and identify to Curly’s actions outside of Jimmy until the end their is the question of how much we are viewing#them as separate entities rather than intertwined actions cause while the flipping#of who we play at shows them and parallels and in separable in terms of the story going down#they couldn’t be drastically more different in thinking and you only really realize that at the birthday scene where Curly felt the need to#take responsibility for something while Jimmy just felt the need to take#this is also more so me thinking about all the reason people think Curly and Jimmy could be friends but they are missing the point of Jimmy#and his dynamic there is nothing severely weird or sinister about Curly or his intentions it’s that he’s well meaning to a fault#he’s an average dude having a mid life crisis and Jimmy is a guy that takes advantage of good intentions like the idea#that curly has to be like Jimmy in some way personality humor morally is the exact sort of projection Jimmy wants#to happen and does like it’s the sad and real case that sometimes people just have friends like Jimmy that they can’t cut off for one reason#or another like it’s not highly philosophical people are friends with objective assholes but it’s less about them#and more about the person feeling some obligation to stay like I feel like crafting him into#being more morally grey is to just make it easier to be angrier or think someone with more of a backbone#could of done something but it’s not even that he was spineless he was just too distracted and sometimes that feel like cowardice like even#Swansea waited it’s just the sad truth of how people avoid people like Jimmy or setting them off#sometimes it just does more harm than good I just am so bored with all the takes#acting like there was a perfect man on that ship and that any one outside of Anya knew the exact type of guy Jimmy#was from the get go like the point is other men wouldn’t in rape culture but women and their victims already know#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#curly mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#throwing rocks at Jimmy
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hobbies include: sketching phos (particularly not having a great time). yeah this is just a sketch dump pretty much!.
the last 3 were done while listening to the most phos-core song ive ever heard: Low – More (discovered thanks to @punpuncake) (no seriously, google the lyrics. mind-blowingly accurate. angst.mp3.)
aaand a bonus sketch from an aggie.io session with friends – blindingly white next to the previous pics, so im putting it under the cut:
#phos#phos hnk#phosphophyllite#houseki no kuni#land of the lustrous#.txt#hnk#i honestly really am just.#a big fan of how it (phos). crumbles under all the pressure. literally. self-destructs is how i read it being described today#like it cant handle all of this#so it crumbles and melts away sometimes with a big pow in an explosion and sometimes kind of quietly#just letting its hands lose their form letting the alloy drip through the cracks#it scratches my brain like nothing else#for some reason#maybe it's how it isn't being addressed in the manga directly.... nobody says a thing about it it doesn't get acknowledged verbally iirc#but it very much happens regularly and no explanation is even needed yoy just understand#;_;#i want to hold phos#oh lmao *you#yoy is such a funny typo i instantly hear my inner reading voice's speech being reversed like in a ytp
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Since we’re on the topic of video games, im tired of these fucking remakes. Ive said it before but i’ll say it again each time. These companies dont wanna invest in an actually good remaster or port and would rather waste their time with these remakes bcuz “ooh look how shiny and better the graphics look!!1!1!1” often times it has an empty feeling because everything has to be ultra realism super 6000. Its gotten so bad that now regular gamers are starting to gaslight you into playing or enjoying them. So much has been lost artistically, (like the cool UI designs) that it’s now considered “juvenile” and that i need to “grow up” and “accept it” 😂
#Being genuine and having atmosphere/lore/small details surrounding the game does a lot more.#And can we pls have built in emulators or#backwards combatibility on these newer consoles? if ur able to do all this other shit you can give us an official emulator#And ik that sometimes the developers have actually lost certain files data assets etc within the OG games that cannot be regained#But you can make an entire remake no problem🙄 it be feeling like they are getting told by higher ups “do it or else”#Im gen z and idk if its my gen or a combination of everyone regardless of age wanting these remakes all of a sudden#Bcuz i swear i remember most ppl disliked or didnt care abt them now everyone is on board with it???#No game after the year 1999 should have a remake. A rerelease or remaster is fine. But a remake? Do we really need that…#Also game design used to be cute and fun. Whatever happened to that? Wheres my clever save spots and menu screens?#Theres only a tad bit of remakes i have no problem with and even then its not “needed”#i also understand not liking smth due to its art style. But to act like majority of old games looks terrible is crazy come on now.#Why does h0rizon need a remaster and why are u not allowed to buy or download the OG version of it anymore 😐#feels like ppl think OG games are nothing when they are the entire reason#The amplified hyperrealistic my-26k-ultra-supercomputer-made-this remake exists in the first fucking place#regarding limitations of old games and consoles i could understand a rerelease port but they could just add on stuff and leave it alone lol#Emulators also exists guys….#Rant#Other
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Did you know that there are actually 2 Saiki K 3ds games?
This one is called 「照橋心美のΨ難 いっぱいおっふ」 [The Disastrous Life of Teruhashi Kokomi: A lot of offu].
At first you play as Teruhashi against Nendou, Kaidou, Hairo, Toritsuka, Kuboyasu and Kusuo.
After beating all of them, you can play as them against Teruhashi and Kuriko.
You unlock Kuriko when you get S on her and Teruhashi.
Translation of characters' descriptions below. Other information in tags.
Teruhashi Kokomi: The ultimate most beloved girl. When you meet her, the first thing you'll do is say "offu". With her deadly "Angel Upwards Beam" she will destroy the walls of your heart.
Saiki Kusuo: A boy who controls various superpowers. With psychokinesis, he splits the ball and relentlessly attacks! He creates a wall, making his defense perfect.
Nendou Riki: His nickname is "mysterious idiot". The attack he unleashes charges single-mindedly forwards. It won't stop no matter what happens!
Kaidou Shun: Everyone acknowledges him as a chuunibyou. With his sealed, forbidden thunder, he can erase 10 blocks from this world.
Hairo Kineshi: A class representative with overflowing passion. With a burning hot ball, he breaks blocks with a single hit!
Toritsuka Reita: A spirit medium full of worldly desires. He summons ghosts of the ball to repeatedly attack the girl he's interested in!
Kuboyasu Aren: A former delinquent who was the leader of the gang "Espers". With his power, he can destroy even hard blocks with a single hit.
Saiki Kuriko: Saiki Kusuo transformed into a female form. With overwhelming speed and power, she attacks relentlessly!
#teruhashi kokomi#saiki kusuo#nendou riki#kaidou shun#hairo kineshi#toritsuka reita#kuboyasu aren#saiki kuriko#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#the one piece of information you Could say this game has is that hairo isn't immune to teruhashi in it#miscellaneous info about this game:#(to be precise this isn't exactly a Game it's a bonus Mini-game you can download for getting the actual saiki k 3ds game)#when you play against kusuo as teruhashi it says that it's just her delusional version#and when you're kusuo against kuriko (and the opposite) it says that the other is from a parallel world#there's 1 kuriko sprite that doesn't appear in the other 3ds game (also kuriko doesn't have her own voice actor in either games)#every character has their own power up when pressed Y#teruhsahi's one is the best one by far (she's also the only one who has special art for using the power)#when (for example) you beat kuriko as kuboyasu she's beaten for everyone#so nendou hairo kaidou and toritsuka are pretty much useless as the others' powers are just better#nothing happens when you get S on everyone#the gameplay is only that block breaking thing#one of kaidou's stages spells “DARK” and nendou's “お?” but all the other ones are just generic obtacles#there's just one song and every time the ball hits the ceilling the character shouts “offu” (and sometimes when a block is broken too)#which gets repetitive quite fast#also for some reason you can't use the stylus to move the platform on the bottom screen; you need to use the buttons
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there's something to be said about this trend of doing prelim hip screening on very young dogs and freaking out when they look kinda meh
there's a whole bunch of other somethings to be said about vets apparently bringing up FHO as an option based on those prelims??
#i feel like my brain might leak out of my ears sometimes#and i am not a medical professional. not even a medical amateur#but even in my own private life ive seen (frankly kinda poorly done) hip xrays and hear that the vet that took them#held up surgery as an option for hips that were just mild to mild-moderate#idk if its got to do with more people screening and more professionals getting close to areas of the field theyre less experienced with#or what#but i#feel like i see more of it now than just a few years ago#imho prelims in general have limited value? if you're considering sinking thousands of dollars in importing a puppy for breeding#you may wanna rule out hips looking severe at baby ages#but if youre a regular person invested in the health of your individual dog - HD has such variability in expression#and prelims are just a general prediction (unless its getting old enough to soon get proper ones anyway OR you're looking at symptoms)#a great prelim prob wont turn awful and a terrible prelim wont turn great#but if your puppy is acting normal theres really nothing that xray will tell you that should much affect how you raise it#and a LOT of the ppl i see doing them now seem either mostly impatient or mostly looking for a reason to freak out#in case hips turn out looking TERRIBLE (mediocre) and HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN (because OFA fair is often FCI mild and also its chance)
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i think everybody should think about how much of a privilege driving is before they judge people who don’t drive for being immature or whatever. like do you not realize that not everyone had a high school with driver’s ed or parents/older relatives who could teach them, not everyone had time to learn when they were younger, not everyone can afford a car and car insurance and any repairs that a car might need, not everyone lives in a place that is drivable anyway, and not everyone has good vision or a healthy enough brain and/or body to drive. and nobody needs to explain to you why they don’t drive! all you need to know is that the can’t, don’t want to, or it doesn’t make sense for them at this current time in their lives. fuck off!!!!! the response to inadequate public transportation isn’t that everyone should drive instead!!!!!! also everybody complains about bad drivers but people are incentivized to drive regardless of their actual driving ability because it’s shameful not to drive even if it’s a personal choice. and like maybe some people are just not self aware about their own driving abilities but some people just don’t understand that they are in control of a large machine that is dangerous if they don’t operate it properly and they have to be more responsible for the people they’re putting at risk because they don’t care enough to pay attention or follow the rules of the road or keep their tempers under control while they’re behind the wheel. anyway not everyone can or should drive, that’s all
#apropos of nothing i just was thinking about how judgmental my ex and her friends were in college that i didn’t drive#and i was not as bothered by that as i should’ve been lol#because i was low key deeply embarrassed about it so i thought it was kind of fair that they were being dicks about it#it was mostly this one guy. i tried to explain my reasoning but he just didn’t get it and kept pushing that it was dumb not to drive#and like. yeah sometimes it can be limiting but for most of my day to day life it’s not a problem at all#having a car would be a bigger problem to figure out rn#anyway now i think he should just go to hell#he was kind of judgmental a lot actually and had a pretty big ego imo with no reason to be that self centered#my ex was kind of egotistical too but at least she was an extremely interesting and bright individual#it was grating that she thought she was the most interesting person in the room all the time but she actually was lol#anyway. whatever this isn’t about her it’s about ME and not driving#it’s not gonna happen until i have enough money for a car and time to learn how to drive#and probably not until i actually get assessed (+ treated if diagnosed) for adhd bc my biggest fear is being a distracted driver#if anyone has a problem with that they can suck my dick#anyway. anyway.#that’s all i guess#i fucking hate drivers rn the drivers in my city are nuts
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The original book version of Witcher had a short story named The Lesser Evil.
I read it far too long time ago, but it was about how Geralt got the name of the Butcher of Blaviken.
A Wizard offers a job to Geralt to protect him from a "Monster", a cursed girl who is out for her life and killing her is a lesser evil choice. Because Geralt has values of not killing people, he refuses.
When he meets the girl, Renfri, she tells Geralt her life story, telling him why she pursues the wizard, and wants to hire Geralt to help to kill him, because the wizard is a "Monster" and killing him would be the lesser evil. Geralt refuses and try to talk down Renfri to take revenge but in the end it was futile, the girl try it anyway.
Geralt always had trouble with choosing sides, the topic of neutrality, staying out of people's businesses once he knew too much.
In the end, Geralt can't run away from choosing sides, because he wanted to do the right thing. He ends up killing Renfri and her band while the wizard lives.
The mob turns against Geralt and shun him, and while the guards don't arrest him, because he protected the wizard, they ask him never to return to this town.
I think a lot about this story.
#sometimes there are no good choices#because there are shit choices and even more shittier choices#and sometimes choice is when you do nothing and avert your eyes. and that's shit too.#and sometimes when you are already involved you can't just walk away your self-consciousness don't allow it#geralt of rivia#the witcher#sorry if there are inaccuracies i read it years ago#i think Witcher is one reason I like RC too#the raw eastern european reality that resembling to my own home too and it doesn't try to be beautiful#without filters and social sensitivity shit to make it digestible#but when occassional miracles happen... your heart just melt.
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Some Valyrian/Targaryen/Velaryon names. No expertise here, simply following patterns to see what sounds and looks nice + canon sources and Valyrian dictionary plucks. In chrono & thought order.
Canon — Rhaenys, Rhaena, Rhaella, Rhaenyra, Rhaegel, Rhae, Rhaelle, Rhaegar (All Targ)
Derived — Rhaenion, Rhaenelle, Rhaenella, Rhaegor, Rhaegon, Aenyra, Rhaelion, Rhaenyx, Rhaelyx, Rhaenar, Rhaenyar, Rhaenel, Rhaelys, Rhaevel, Rhaevis, Rhaevys, Viserrhae, Rhaenya, Rhaenior, Rhaenor, Rhael, Rhaen, Rhaejel, Rhaeqan, Rhaellor, Rhaemon, Rhaemond, Rhaenyron, Rhaema
Canon — Aenar, Aegon, Aerys, Aelyx, Aerion, Aethan (1 Velaryon), Vaegon, Aenys, Aerea, Naerys, Aegor, Aelor, Aelora (Rest Targ)
Derived — Aegar, Aelon, Aelys, Aelar, Aelara, Aella, Aelinor, Aeral, Aeron, Aelion, Aegys, Aegal, Aelia, Naera, Naeron, Naerion, Naerelle, Naerella, Naerea, Aethal, Aethelle, Aethys, Aethion, Aethar, Aethial, Aenor, Aethor, Aerelle, Gaelyx, Aenyx, Aeryx, Baelyx, Aelial, Aeliar, Aelior, Vaegal, Vaegor, Vaegar, Vaelior, Vaelor, Aerial, Aeriel, Aelan, Aevys, Aevelle, Aevella, Haelyx, Haelian, Aenir, Haethan, Haelan, Haelor, Aekor, Haeral
Canon — Gaemon (T), Daemion (T & V), Daemon (V & T), Aemon (T), Aemma (T [Andal?]), Vaemond (V), Aemond (T), Daeron (V later T)
Derived — Daemyra, Daemys, Daemyn, Daemelle, Daema, Gaemar, Daerelle, Daerion, Aemys, Aemar, Aemor, Aemir, Aemira, Aemara, Aemora, Daemor, Daemora, Vaemon, Gaema, Gaemond, Gaemyn, Gaemion, Aemion, Gaemor, Aemior, Aemyn, Aemin, Aerona, Aemona, Aemia, Aeman, Aemal, Aemelle, Gaemia, Aemol, Aemil, Aemila, Aemilon, Aemilor, Aeminor, Daemyron, Daeminor, Haemon, Naemon, Haemia, Naema, Haemal, Haemar, Naemior, Naemor, Daemian
Canon — Daenys, Daenerys, Daella, Daenaera (1 V), Daena, Daenora (Rest T)
Derived — Daenyra, Daenar, Daenor, Daenelle, Daenal, Daen, Nerys, Naera, Daenir, Daenyx, Daeryx, Daerys, Daera, Daerya, Daenya, Daenyron, Daenorion, Norion, Daenyrion, Daenarion, Daenaeron, Daellar, Daelar, Daelon, Daelor, Daelan, Daelana, Daelanys, Daelenys, Daelyn, Aenaera
Canon — Maegon, Maegor, Maegelle, Maelor, Maekar (All T)
Derived — Maegar, Maela, Maelys, Maegys, Maegera, Maegara, Maegerys, Maegal, Maegyn, Maegan, Maekor, Maekaera, Maegaera, Maegaela, Maekion, Maelyra, Maegyra, Maelara, Maelar
Canon — Elaena (T), Valaena, Laena, Laenor (3 V), Helaena (T)
Derived — Laenys, Laenyra, Laenar, Laenelle, Helaenys, Elaenor, Elaenys, Laenion, Laenir, Laenyx, Elaenar, Laenora, Haena, Vaena, Alaena, Haela, Norys, Alaenys, Vaenys, Galaena
Canon — Visenya, Viserys, Viserra (T)
Derived — Viserya, Visenys, Senys, Saenys, Saenya, Saenar, Saenelle, Saenyelle, Saenyella, Serya, Serra, Serys, Saenir, Saenyx, Saenor, Viselya, Senial, Serial, Saerial, Visellan, Visarys, Visenna, Virenna
Canon — Baelon, Baela, Baelor, Balerion (Blackfyre), Valerion (Rest T)
Derived — Baelys, Baelar, Bael, Baelir, Alerion, Aleria, Aelir, Valeria, Valerys
Canon — Jaehaerys (T), Jacaerys (V), Lucerys (V), Jaehaera (T)
Derived — Lucerra, Lucerion, Jaehaerion, Jaerion, Lucerya, Jacaera, Jaena, Jaenelle, Jaecelle, Jaesir, Jaekar, Jaeron, Jaela, Jaelon, Jaelor, Jaerys, Haerys, Haera, Kael, Kaecion, Kaeciel, Kaecelle, Kaerys, Kaerion, Kaeriel, Lucarys, Jaeca, Nicerys, Nicaerys, Hecaerys, Nicerion, Hicaerys, Niceria, Nicae, Lucarya, Lucaenys, Lucaena, Nocorys
Canon — Lianna, Larissa (V [Andal? First Men?]), Alarra (FM [Massey]), Alyssa (V & T [Andal? FM?]), Alysanne (T)
Derived — Alysor, Lianys, Lianor, Sianna, Amanna, Alanna, Noranna, Narra, Nyssa, Anyssa, Alarya, Asenna, Norissa, Irenna, Orissa, Lysarra, Lisarra, Aranna
Canon — Valarr, Vaella (T)
Derived — Vaelys, Valarys, Alarys, Alarya, Valarya, Valarra, Vaellan
Canon — Gael, Saera, Shaera (T)
Derived — Saerys, Gaelys, Gaelor, Gaelon, Gaelion, Saerion, Shaerys, Shaerial, Shaerelle, Shaelle, Shael, Shaelys, Saevys, Shaerion, Gaela, Shaela, Shaehaera
Canon — Corwyn (V [Andal?]), Corlys (V)
Derived — Corla, Corlia, Corlaenys, Cora, Corys, Corlenys, Corlea, Corlae, Corvan, Corvana, Corvys
Malentine
Rhogar(/Rogar?/Rogare? [FM? HV?])
Monford
Monterys (All V)
Derived — Terys, Teraea, Taeraea, Taerion, Monys, Monerys, Montys, Rhogel, Malentys, Malenta, Monterion, Monterra, Mona, Monae, Monarra, Malentina, Lentys, Lenta, Lenya, Taenys, Taena, Alentys, Malya, Malys, Malea, Malena, Malenna, Malaena, Amalla, Alenna, Marissa, Monassa, Monessa, Monerra, Mosarra, Malarra, Malenys, Amarys, Mantys, Malta, Maltys, Maltine, Maltina, Amalta, Amaltine, Alta, Altys, Altarra, Maltar, Maltarys, Marion, Maltior, Malerion, Mornys, Mortys, Morton, Omorr, Omon, Malenion, Malenior, Almys, Monissa, Montissa, Montessa, Omona, Omorra, Maltion, Malton, Almont, Almae, Maltorra, Torys, Garys, Garla, Galtys, Torrine, Tarine, Maltarine, Maltarra, Almerra, Almarra, Almorra, Alterra, Lamina, Monta, Monte, Montae, Taera, Taerine, Taerin, Taerys, Manta, Almina, Almine, Rhonal, Rhonior, Rhomys, Almar, Malar, Malarr, Malarys, Almarys, Maline, Rhomalt, Rhomion, Rhomior, Rhomia, Rhoma, Rhoton, Rhomine, Rhomal, Rhogal, Rhomina, Rhomon, Rhomar, Rhomorr, Almassa, Rhomys, Rhomyn, Torial, Malial, Rhovys, Rhowyn, Matarra, Atarra, Rhomond, Rhomorra, Tormon
Matarys (T)
Derived — Matarya, Matara, Matys, Tarys, Tarya, Atara, Atarys, Tarial, Tarhael, Matarr
Canon — Orys, Borys, Orryn (Baratheon)
Derived — Orial, Ora, Orya, Orra, Borya, Boria, Boryl, Orelle, Orianne, Orael, Orrael, Orhael, Borion, Orion, Bora, Orian, Oryal, Oryas, Orias, Orios, Oryos, Rys, Ryssa, Ryssal, Orlisse, Rysla, Ryn, Rynel, Rynella, Boryn, Borryn, Rynal, Dorys, Orella, Dorella, Oryl, Orgillac, Orgyll, Borella, Borylla, Bolia, Bolas, Orlas, Ollyn, Olys, Olya, Orianna, Lorys
Bonus: Argellys
Canon — Maelys, Haegon, Aeryn, Calla, Rhalla, Shaena (Blackfyre)
Canon non-Westerosi Valyrians:
Jaenara Belaerys, Aurion
Canon Dragons:
Urrax, Terrax, Balerion, Vhagar, Meraxes, Vermithor, Caraxes, Meleys, Syrax, Vermax, Arrax, Tyraxes, Tessarion, Shrykos, Morghul, Viserion, Rhaegal
Unknown — Gaelithox?, Aegarax?
Original & HV Derived (some more suitable for dragons) — Aelsior, Qaelys, Qylys, Vhenys, Vhenya, Vhinyae, Vhanir, Vaenir, Vaenyx, Baelykos, Lykael, Lykaera, Raqael, Raqel, Raqys, Raqyssa, Raqissa, Raqar, Raqir, Raqor, Raqora, Raqior, Kionar, Malkion, Malkios, Vhaltir, Malkior, Vaedys, Vaedar, Elenys, Elenia, Elēnar, Elenarys, Elenarya, Elenara, Kostys, Kostir, Kostior, Pelarys, Pelonia, Pelonys, Eledrae, Eledrys, Eledryn, Peria, Perza, Perzys, Zysa, Amisor, Amisa, Aexior/Aeksior, Aexion/Aeksion, Raenion, Raenior, Qana, Qanys, Qantys, Ēbrior, Ēbrion, Ēbria, Jelmys, Jelmarys, Jelmazys, Jelissa, Tessarys, Tessara, Tessarae, Dessan, Dessenae, Hārys, Tōmarr, Tōmarys, Tōmasyn, Tessarax, Syrion, Syriel, Jēdarys, Jēdaria, Jorrael, Trēzos, Elilla, Vāedarys, Ōrbēdenos
Possible High Valyrian roots for names:
Rhaen — to; meet, find, encounter, discover
Bael — to help, to aid, to assist
Jael — to want, to wish/to store, to house
Jaelarys — hope (possible name)
#I was just hoarding these for no reason and then I realised oh I have a reddit now#but then I also realised that I don't despise myself so I remembered I still have tumblr#look I even kept the “common” names :D#I just want folks to realize we got options 😭#enough with throwing a bunch of consonants in the blender#let's respect the convention of AE#and -ys#and George might have had burnout when it came on to names but we're better off aren't we?!#yeah!#he got Rhaena from Rhaenys we can work with these We Have Options!#but yes as you can see I still had limits#house targaryen#house velaryon#house blackfyre#house baratheon#dragging them back to their roots by hook or crook >:(#it's bandoleros or nothing#therefore I guess it's only right to tag#house celtigar#FUCK didn't even show up in recommended tags this is so sad 😭#valyrian names#sometimes I compare a name's pronunciation in Common vs High Valyrian and my head hurts#Syrax what's happening w u bb 😭#is the y in Visenya a rounded vowel or actually an i *sleep-mussed contemplating Jungkook meme*#I'm good at names??#that's crazy
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#alt with eyes hidden under the cut#cofagrigus#their eyes are shiny. made of plastic. so they're looking a little bright. apologies for this#so. generally when i have quarrels about the pronunciation of a pokémon's name (since i don't watch anipoké)#where someone else and i pronounce the same pokémon's name differently. which doesn't happen very often‚ since typically i talk about#pokémon mostly entirely in text. because most of the communication about things i like happens in text. and the pokémon games#are not voice acted. so pronunciation of their names is sparse and sometimes limited to anipoké but even they're inconsistent i think#but whenever i have quarrels about the pronunciation of a name. someone else and i pronounce it differently. i go to pokédex 3d pro#on the 3ds. because every time you go to a pokémon's dex entry‚ the pokédex guy says their name out loud#i basically treat this as gospel for how to pronounce pokémon names. i've been proven wrong a lot but i've also been proven right a lot#and this guy. oooohhh this guy. before pokédex 3d pro i pronounced this guy's name as though the F-slur was right in the middle#only recently did i learn that it kinda sounds like “grievous‚” [kʰɐ.fə.'gɻiː.gəs]#at least. that's how the pokédex 3d pro guy says it#whereas i had been pronouncing it [kʰow.'fæg.ɻɪ.gəs]. so. you can see the issue that arises with that pronunciation#a lot of these pronunciations that i have to double-check just live in my head. and it's only when i say them out loud that i realize#how i'm saying them. like how i pronounce “centiskorch” as [sɑ̃.t͡si̠.skoʁʃ] for some fucking reason. my brain sees it and is like#yeah that's? a french word? even though it looks nothing like one#i also tend to pronounce “grumpig” as ['gʀʊm.pɪç] because of the “ig” at the end. i guess. german instinct#of course these are pronunciations i never say out loud but the first time i Have to say this pokémon's name out loud i'll go#oh yeah! it's not pronounced like that. i should probably not say that#and then i do not. just a fun little story about my twisted and fucked up mind. a little peek into my enigmatic brainspace#jesus christ these are some of the longest tags i've ever written. i'm gonna stop
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It looks like Ivan is standing with his back to the gate initially, but there aren't any trees in front of the gate so he must've been standing to the side. Only when Till passed him does it seem like he was actually in front of the gate so I wonder when Till approached him did Ivan turn to face him because he thought Till was coming to talk to him? lol
#getting your hopes up little man? (same bruh same)#also#if ivan planned the whole waygein thing. how. just how.#were mizi and till playing and when they lost their flowers so they both ran after it?#doesnt make much sense though since it seems as though mizi was there first#and till and ivan came in after#can ivan control the wind?#none of this makes sense#alien stage#alnst till#alnst ivan#alien stage till#alien stage ivan#alnst#oH WAIT#what if mizi went in there for the flowers and till happened to do the same for his own by coincidence#ivan couldve stopped him if he knew about the wagyein#and uhh he didnt for some reason? he's a bad boy he did some bad things and just did it all for fun like it meant nothing?#shitty ass kid making my brain fry#sorry if this is badly worded sometimes english feels foreign to me but im also just dumb
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... why he sit like this
#in this position his face is extremely 'cartoon cat' shaped.. like the perfectly round cheeks and little#rounded bump of a snout.. big round eyes. etc. stretched over the arm of a chair like a weirdo#cats#It's still Hot Evil Summer time and I have so much to do so am just aimlessly hopping between various projects but not actually#getting anything done. as usual. Also so so so so tired. I almost fell asleep in the middle of the floor like 3 times today lol#Trying to finish some costume photos and also another poll adventure thing. plus I do really want to do a sculpture sometime#I haven't finished one in a while. Hopefully my tiredness is nothing bad.#Maybe I'm anemic again so that's making me tired. Or maybe it's just a Listless phase. not that I'm ever really THAT productive considering#all of the health problems and etc. always holding me back. but still. I'm not usually 'sleep or just stare at a wall literally all day' ty#e unproductive.. at least not for multiple days in a row so. hmm... Sometimes especially in the summer though I will have periods of time#that are listless like that. I am under low level phyiscal stress for months at a time due to summer heat so I guess it makes sense#that would eventually take a toll. I just have SO MANY THINGS I WANT TO DO!!!!! AAUUGhhh#I also came up with a new idea for a game that is so so cool and I wish I could make it but I have to finish the other one first lol#which I will NEVER do. if I spend all day just sleepy unfocused barely able to do anything#I also really need to sell some clothes and sculptures because I'll probably have to buy a new computer soon so I need money. (plus still#recovering the costs of having to euthanize my other cat.. wehh) There's nothing clearly wrong with it right now but it's getting gradually#slower and there's more weird glitches happening randomly and idk.. just weird things that make me think 'hmm... bad.. possibly.'#ANYWAY... I just have so much to do that I both REALLY want or need to do - so it's perpetually frustrating that I just can't for whatever#reason like. Time is always mving forward. every day I waste is a wasted day. The year is already almost half over. I havent finished#any of the projects I wanted to .. and there's only more and more things to do each day. It's overwhelming and stinky#and thats not even considering having to do all of my tasks also with the background noise of economic inequality. everything increasingly#going into an even scarier political direction. active climate change crisis. pandemic that still exists and is insane to act otherwise. et#etc. HOW am I supposed to solo make two whole games . write 3 book series. finish sculptures. do costumes. make outfits. game videos. make#stable network of social connections. do my little side crafts. take care of myself and cats. pay rent. manage health issues. keep a routin#.try to make some sort of money. go to doctors appointments. handle regular maintenance like cleaning and cooking and self care#and buying new plates when old ones break or etc. make sure to do other things like backup my computer data regularly. do shopping lists.#take care of plants. pursue like 6 different academic interests. do the other side side projects I have for fun (like music or carving avoc#ado pits). eat in a healthy way thats okay for my Special Health Issue diet. exercise so i don't die early. etc. etc. etc. AND all while it#82F in my apartment all the time and I have tiny income and also need to move to another country/climate somehow??? lol......#ANYWAY.. ..very frustrated today over my chronic Tired Sleepy.. time for Cat Photos - which cure all of life's ailments lol
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Prior to leaving for the tours we did today, there was a fight between two of the dogs. We were unhooking and loading up dogs. Muk went through Jack's circle after being unhooked, Jack grabbed him, and Muk turned around and just nailed him. Muk ended up having Jack pinned. SDG was able to pull Muk off Jack pretty quick, but Muk left Jack with a pretty nasty wound on his arm that bled a LOT. Called the vet, and she said based on where it is, he won't bleed out, just wrap it tight. We got him bandaged up and put him in a crate in the house, and then we had to leave for the tour, so off we went. Jack was okay when we got back. Swollen, but he left his bandage alone.
Tour was good. After the people left, we were standing around the fire for a minute, and we heard wolves howling in the distance. That was neat. Still can't believe Lilly let me handle her today. I am interested to see if this means we are "friends" now or how she will react to me at the kennel now.
#barkin up some trees#sled dog adventures#it was a wild day#glad Jack is okay#now that he has had his ass whooped we are hoping he leaves Muk alone#he has some kinda beef with him for no reason#muk wont instigate with Jack usually but he wont back down either#they sure are a handful#dog fights happen sometimes 🤷♀️#it isnt the first ive seen at the kennel and i doubt it will be the last#i am just glad it turned out to be nothing too serious#like it bled a lot but the vet said he should be fine based on location#i will check in tomorrow and see how jack is doing
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More of this fuckass outfit.
#moe tag#i'm trying to focus on like. stuff that's already in the works. while i wait for my sketchbooks.#but also today idk what happened it's like. sometimes. the gunk hits me all at once.#like ohhhhhhhhh. society at large and more importantly a lot of my immediate family doesn't see me or respect me as a person.#okay! 👍 yay..... 🧍#well. nothing to do about it but draw moe in the most fucked up outfit ever. huge fan of this look#now if you'll excuse me i'll be taking damage in the corner now. okay. goodbye.#LIKE OKAY talking my shit but like i just feel really dysphoric?????? for literally no reason.#and i've just been dying badly all day.#idk what i want to do now. i feel so shitty.#man.#my art
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pls do talk about your projects if you so wish
YOUVE UNLEASHED A BEAST. hold on I'm going to bullet point this because I started paragraphing it and it was literally unreadable.
the big one that I should be working on is Milwaukee protocol (duh) (deadline of expo in April that I applied to and hopppppefully will get to table at but we'll see! it is ever so slowly getting sketched out and I like how it's going so far!! but im shoving those guys out the window right now because they'll get their time.
I'm getting back into animatics (evil decision) partly because I LOVE MUSIC and I love DRAWING PICTURES TO MUSIC and because I need to practice use adobe premiere in a way that does not make me rip my hair out aka by putting together videos of my favorite fictional gay people. anyways.
I'm planning out an animatic to the other side of paradise for naddpod rn....it was originally gonna be like a lyricstuck comic but given the beat it feels like it'd work better actually set to the music...it is giving me grief a little bit since there's a lot of naddpod and I haven't listened to it in a while and it doesn't have a central theme which is usually pretty big for putting them together....its definitely going to have more emphasis on Bev and Erlin (sorry if I just start saying naddpod names at you LMAO) (it's very good though. one of the best ttrpg podcasts out there imo) but I do want it to be about the others as well :] they all get their time. The bridge is the most planned out part (heavy on the hellfire chronicles/chosen saga, those who Know can probably figure some bits out but I will say there will be some stuff with the wraiths) and I want the beginning to be a brief rundown of the earlier parts of the campaign but idk, I might lean into it being heavier on the later half for ease. also realistically it does not have to be entirely linear (guy who is coping) but oughhhh. it feels wrong for it not to be. I'm also hoping to mess with color and style a little bit with it since I'm no longer constrained to flipaclip! I want to get neon with it!! I would like to put a little more movement in it and overall make it a little crunchier and crispier and mess with camera movement maybe. it's very much a fuck around and figure things out project which is nice...
that said I do play favorites I am chipping away at erlin animatic mostly since it'll be easierrr and good practice with adobe in the meantime! who am I if not a guy who draws the kindleafs two billion times everyday. it does feel very repetitive though so I'm trying to change some stuff around (naddpod relisten is helping a bit) and it's getting there!
other smaller projects here and there...I need to actually lock in on my portfolio...if I don't post some muscle/bone/nerve diagrams and maybe a short comic about joints or something in the next month everyone needs to yell at me.
#also trying to draw peoples characters over break and work on remaking commission sheets and knitting a sweater so I dont pull my hair out#if I dont have one billion things happening always I do die. probably the one reason I survived this year so far.#ANYWAYS THANK YOU FOR ASKING THIS IS AWESOMMMME I LOVE TALKING PROJECTS also it does help to talk out other side of paradise rn#I sat and listened to it at full volume on a speaker for like 2 hours yesterday while my family is out the beginning is killing me#but we stay silly.#I wish I had pictures but it's a lot of nothing rn.....sometime soon though
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Scully: do we have an explanation of how this might've happened?
Mulder: *most batshit theory based on smt he read in a cryptid magazine 5 years ago*
Scully: ...a REASONABLE explanation??
#anne speaks#x files#this happens about 3 times per episode#scully is So Tired half the time it's hilarious#sometimes she's like “okay SAY i believe you”#and sometimes she's like “youre fucking stupid”#and then once in a blue moon she's like okay FINE. MAYBE.#but mostly she's Very Tired#and for good reason sometimes bc like. yes mulder is right very often#but he'll literally be like “behold members of the jury! this man who looks younger than me is over 100 years old!!”#or “yes this child is in fact a dead man reincarnated and her giving testimony under hypnosis actually makes for a case”#and scully is there like you dipshit. you utter buffoon. fine it's been 3 days and some stuff youve shown tracks#but if you put this before a jury again im gonna -#well actually do nothing bc i will lie to my bosses about you bc im kinda obsessed with your faith devotion snark and kind heart#their dynamic is everything to me your honour
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Not sure where exactly this counts on the empathy/sympathy/compassion categorizations but my experience with seeing others be visibly feeling bad and in distress is that like, I do notice what they're feeling and understand it but I don't care and it's just. Awkward to me. Like, I don't want them to be sad but I don't want to anything about it either, it's just so annoying to me, I want them to get over it as fast as possible and stop acting Like That because it stresses me out too.
And when I say it stresses me out I don't mean it's because I just feel for them that hard, I just want it to be over because I'm scared of what they'll do. Like I don't want to be in the same room as them anymore but I can't leave, because that'd be rude and they will be mad at me. I don't want to comfort them and I don't know how, but they will expect me to, and become angry with me and think I'm a terrible person and who knows how they'll treat me then from that point. And I'm terrified of angry people, usually if my family members are looking angry and screaming I just panic and do anything to not have to speak to them and avoid them until it stops, and that also goes for anyone else. (me still after typing all that out: still no trauma lol must have been the wind that just made me born this weird)
And like. Sometimes I do want to do something about it, because I like the person and I want them to stop feeling bad but I have like. No idea what to even do then partially because one. I don't actually want to but also I want to but also not really. And two. I don't do this because I care about their problems to that degree, I just want them to behave like I'm used to them behaving again and to not be so occupied by what's happening to them so they'll have more time to pay attention to me instead again. All my thoughts just left my head as I was typing everything and now I forgot everything I was about to say. Aw shucks.
Anyway I just. People having negative emotions just either annoy me or set off my fear responses and I don't want to talk to them then until they stop, I also don't want to look like I'm a bad person or make them think that means I don't care about them. I usually just wait it out or awkwardly approach them with some low energy "ummm get well soon irl blorbo". I wanna be nice to people because then they're gonna like me (which will make me care about their feelings somewhat) but oh god the cost. the cost....................
Anyway uhhhhh neurodivergent tumblr. Any tips for feigning concern and comforting other people that sounds authentic and will make them (correctly) think I care about their feelings. That'd be awesome.
#the exception to my no empathy/low sympathy rule are small children#like if they're in any amount of distress nevermind how minor or if they're just ''throwing a tantrum for no reason''#i just get so anxious and need to get out of here as fast as i can because it just makes me wanna cry. and some of these encounters actuall#stick with me for several years or maybe forever#do i still want to personally do anything about it? well if i can just avoid it i will. if i stick around for any longer itll just make me#panic more. sometimes just a mere mention or sight of some toddler makes me stressed even if nothing is happening to them#like. idk. i wish i could just never have to be in contact with any person acting angry or sad ever again#low empathy#low sympathy#low compassion#actually autistic#actually npd#<- i mean. i thiiiink these are just the ones that *mainly* make me feel that way#i dont know if this is comprehensible or if i even typed what i wanted to type. my brain and thoughts are disobedient little rascals
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